Job1.

 

The industry if currently looking for someone with the following properties.

 

- Do you have a mobile phone?

 

- Can you be available at a moments notice, day and night,

  7 days a week?

 

- Are you like a sheep, and do what others do, without

  thought or reason, no matter how ridiculous it is?

 

- Do you like gossip and take it as fact, knowing that our

  organisation has lied and bull-shited it's way throughout

  it's history?

 

- Are you so stupid that your too dumb to realise that the

  same will eventually happen to you, your children and

  your future family and the millions of other people living

  in this world?

 

- Are you willing to receive life threatening electromagnetic

  radiation, that will eventually make your teeth fall out and

  make you even dumber (yes, we know it's hard to

  believe you could get dumber), just like your target?

 

- Do you get off on watching people, in the privacy of their

  own home, and in the street, without their consent,

  regardless of the law, morality and just normal human

  decency?

 

- Do you find the torture of innocent people funny, knowing it

  will also happen to you one day, like other psychopaths?

 

 

If you fit all of the above criteria, then we need you. You will become one of the many other Gang-stalkers that we employ and use. Your obviously just as fucking dumb, psychopathic, dead brained and inhuman as all the other single celled fuck wits we employ. Your hired!!

 

Please email me at:- gangstalkersarefucktards@psychopathicbraindeads.com

 

Job 2.

 

Want a cushy job working in the government? We have an excellent pension scheme and other generous benefits, because, well, it's only tax payers money, so who cares.

 

Your daily tasks will include :-

 

Harassing innocent people, because it's so much easier than harassing actual terrorists, that might actually do something, that people might want you to actually stop.

 

You will be allocated an innocent civilian target and then be expected to knock on the doors of their neighbours to spread malicious rumours, general gossip and other 'non truths', all in an attempt to shit on their character, which up until this point, was excellent. Don't worry, people are generally pretty stupid and if you flash them an official looking card, will believe whatever you tell them.

 

We offer a full training scheme, so you don't need to know jack-shit before hand. If you've read 'How to be a good Nazi'  or  'The Stasi book of harassment and torture' then this would be of great advantage.

 

You may be expected to also target your own family in the near future, but if you're the person we're looking for, and are therefore of generally low character and morality, you'll have no problem doing that whatsoever.

 

Red-neck's or chav's will get first priority, as your IQ is below your feet and you'd kill your family for a dollar.

 

Please reply in writing, or if that's a problem then get another scummy twat to do it for you, to:-

 

Mr. Scum Bag,

We know what your doing Dept.,

c/o The White House,

1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW,

Washington, DC 20500,

USA